6.25.2003: On The Green
Last February we moved from an old two story three-bedroom to a less-old split-level three-bedroom. But stair count is not the only thing that changed.
That old house had very little lawn. Sidewalks and driveways split and divided the small lot so that there was never more than 6 square yards together. It didn't take long to mow, but it was annoying: lots of starting and stopping. It also had moles (or something that burrowed) and in general I didn't have a lot of interest in taking care of such a small patch of sod.
Our new domicile, besides being much nicer on the inside, has considerably larger surroundings. A corner lot, in fact. We got grass.
At first, I dreaded the start of the lawn-growing season; this was a lot more than I was used to mowing. But soon I realized that it was easier to mow, being more or less in two big chunks. And I began to spray for dandelions, etc. (The house had sat empty for a few years and had a fine crop going)
Then the friendly lawn care people paid me a visit. Or rather, they paid my lawn a visit while my wife and I were out. I won't give you their name, but it rhymes with Gervicemaster. Apparently they wandered around my lot for some time (I imagine neighbors thought that a lawn care company must have had legitimate business and didn't shoo them off.)
After their inspection, they filled out a standard form listing everything in my lawn, good and bad. The first thing I noticed was that they had checked off about a half-dozen types of grass in my lawn, but missed the zoysia grass that every friend who's been to my house had commented on. There was a box for it, left unchecked.
Naturally, they offered to help me improve my lawn ("lawn condition: good; lawn potential: excellent" ...I doubt they have they ever checked the "lawn condition: excellent" box since the form was invented.) And they unashamedly wrote large figures on the bottom to indicate the compensation they expected for this service.
My one previous experience with lawn care companies was not encouraging. Still, the size of the lawn actually made me actually consider it for a split second. But since I have a very sedentary job I decided that pacing the lawn every week or two was a good thing and I would continue to take care of it myself. But I didn't throw the form away.
It was reassuring they found so few problems. I knew I had dandelions (considerably fewer than a month ago.) But now I have a name for the ugly patches of thick-bladed grass (listed under the 'Problem Grasses' section of the form) and I can buy something to spray on it. Grubs themselves aren't a problem, but they do make good food for burrowing things, so I want to reduce their numbers as well. A spreader would have been a wasted expense for the old lawn, but is perfectly justified by the current expanse. And on and on...
So, no doubt they will try to call me in the next few days to 'follow up' their inspection. I think I'll thank them for the information, though I have no intention of hiring them (I make it a policy never to accept any offer over the phone anyway, just on principle.) I hope not to become the guy crawling around his lawn plucking clover with tweezers, but I do think I'll enjoy my new field for a while. At least until I get a teenage son.
'There is no feature connected with a garden which adds more to its picturesqueness, or is more important than a lawn.' --Robert Thompson, 1907
